Greetings fellow blogosphere citizens,
I do believe it has been an extended period since I last posted, but that shall be remedied today.
For those of you who actually enjoy learning about authors, I recently graduated college and wedded the most beautiful woman in the world. (Yes, I know some of you might disagree, but I have several convincing arguments should you choose to debate, along with an overwhelming bias that comes with marriage.)
I have a feeling some have received during their lifetimes a very confused sense of the word "gentleman" due to the modern culture and the way he is portrayed in the media. Generally, most portrayals of the gentleman, whether modern or ancient, show him to be an incompetent fool who hopelessly clings to traditions of the past, his personality is one of aloofness, his body and mind both soft from ill use, and over all a foppish, floppy, lack-witted oaf that has no business wearing a suit. I resent this description because it does not even take into account the word itself.
Gentleness itself has also taken a hit as of late, but a professor pointed me in the right direction of understanding this word. Take this example, for instance.
You are standing in front of a fence looking into a wide open field where horses are kept. From where you stand, you see two horses. One lies on the ground, sick and dying. The horse can hardly move, its muscles having deteriorated from the prolonged disease. Would you look at that horse and say, "Oh, what a gentle horse?" More than likely, you would say, "Oh dear, what a sickly horse, has anyone done anything to help it?" Now, remember the other horse, it is a clydesdale - you know one of those horses you hardly come up to its shoulder it's so big. The horse's muscles are so defined you can see them ripple as it walks around. The owner of the field brings his daughter up to the horse and picks her up so that she can pet its head. This powerful horse, instead of crushing them with one deft movement of its leg, lowers its head to tenderly meet the small girl's touch. Now, with this animal you say "Wow, what a gentle horse!"
Gentleness is not weakness, but rather power under control. Men are called to be strong, not all of us need be overly muscled, but there is an inner strength that does come with being a man. The true gentleman has strength about him, but covers it with an air of gentleness in order to better care for those around him, especially around the elderly, women, children and the sick, which is where being a gentleman most matters. To be a gentleman requires a desire to care for and love those who have need of another's strength.
Now that has been straightened out, on to another epiphany I received recently.
Philosophically, I have met two different types of women in this world. I realized this after playing video games (which in moderation can help to relax the modern gentleman, like any other activity, hunting, sports, reading, etc..) In my recent escapades, the adventures allow one to choose his or her own love interest during the game and develop a relationship with that person. This artificial romance does not offer the same fulfillment of a real relationship, but it does give some telling generalizations of how women and men are perceived.
Women in these games are generally put into one of two categories based on their personality and approach to relationships: the "I dare you go love me" or the "You couldn't possibly love me." Though they sound similar, one is generally more confrontational and aggressive while the other tends toward self-pitying solitude. Both have something in common, neither feels capable of securing another's love and feels compelled to make sure of someone else's loyalty by meeting certain criteria.
The "I dare you to love me" women generally act agressively, actively putting off anyone willing to take a shot at a deeper relationship. Tough-girl acts, harsh words, put downs and other tactics force the other person to navigate a veritable jungle of emotions before reaching the core of the woman in question. There is nothing wrong with these women, but generally they seem to have had difficulty in the past with relationships and simply do not want to receive another wound to their heart. They guard their heart fiercely, and so you must pursue them fiercely, with a good amount of gentleness, too. (Remember men, we are trying to resurrect the old ways.)
The other group, the "You couldn't possibly love me" are also guarding their hearts, either because of past experience or they are simply new to the dance of courtship. They seek constant affirmation of your love and loyalty, not because they are suspicious, but because they need the security of your renewed confession of love and loyalty. I have met many of these lovely women in my life and can attest that they do not mean to pester or bother with their questions. They simply seek a security in your love that they desire deeply. These women require healthy doses of gentleness and simple actions to show them your devotion - not necessarily ostentacious, extravagent gifts or plans, but simple words and actions to soothe their fears.
If you have seen another general pattern in female behavior similar to these, I would like to hear your thoughts.
May you have a wonderful day and may your pursuits be fruitful.
If any of you have any topics you would nlike to see covered, please add a comment and I will try to address them in a timely manner.
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